Tears, Thank you notes, handwriting & postage stamps

This should be interesting. I wrote the title of this entry before I started in on the text.

I wonder if it's true that I am drawn to tears every day. I think it's actually possible. I know of at least two occasions for tears this week, and that's just right off the top of my head. The first flare up struck me as I finished reading aloud a beloved book to my kids. It was the last in a series of three, and I cried not only for the characters who had to say goodbye, but also for the loss of my own youth, and also, more simply, just the fact that the book was over. I had to pause several times just to get through the reading of it without choking up. The books were the Peter and The Star Catchers series by Dave Barry (yes, that Dave Barry) and Ridley Pearson. Amazing books.

The second thing I cried over this week occured just today. Kenneth's birthday is rapidly approaching and we were preparing the invitations. As any good homeschooler, I decided he definitely needed to have a hand in this process. So, I took the envelopes over to my desk, pushed my keyboard aside, withdrew a ruler from my desk drawer, rejected it, and chose another, (How fortunate am I to have my choice of rulers?), took up a pencil and carefully drew a neat guideline across each envelope so that my son could put the names of each of the guests on them without wobbling too badly. I was methodically attending to this task when my perplexed and befuddled husband came in to find me quietly weeping, with real tears running down my cheeks. I choked and gasped out, "I'm okay, it's okay," wanting to reassure him that I was only crying and that I had not gone off the deepend, at least not yet. I was just desperately missing my mother. I remember her doing precisely this same task for me for an occasion, almost certainly a birthday, for which she expected me to write an invitation or a perhaps a thank you note. I can even see the ruler she would have used to do it. It was yellow and said, "re-elect Judge John Mead." It is much more salient and powerful than any lesson I was ever taught in school. I always think of my mother when it is time to write anything by hand. She prided herself on her handwriting. She lived in an era when beautiful handwriting was very trendy. She told me that she and her girlfriends would actually get together and practice their handwriting. When I was in Jr. High she sent me to a handwriting tutor. I think she was holding my to an unrealistic standard, given my age. My handwriting is perfectly acceptable now, but the value of the handwriting, and of the thank you notes is as indelible as the ink.

So, are handwritten thank you notes a thing of the past? Are all those kids out there who are frantically texting each other going to grow up to send handwritten-snail-mail thank you notes to each other as adults? I'm trying to picture it. The image just fails to materialize. So, how is it that manners evolve? I don't really remember when you weren't supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day, but it's certainly one of those references that gets dragged out as hopelessly arbitrary and archaic when the subject of manners comes up. I did grow up being told that it was absolutely off limits to attend a wedding in a white dress, but I see people do it more and more. I doubt that they are saying to themselves as they are dressing on the day of the wedding, "Oh, I know I'm not supposed to wear white to a wedding, but I just don't care!" More likely, they just haven't ever been told of the custom. So, again, I ask, will the text speak youth of today grow up to value a handwritten thank you note or invitation? I guess the jury is still out. My guess is no, and that's okay. It's every bit as okay as wearing white shoes after Labor Day, because you see, it's arbitrary and archaic.

So, speaking of my desk drawer, and sending things via snail mail…I have stamps in there representing six generations back in first-class postage rates. I used to buy stamps by the roll, but, as we send virtually nothing, except invitations, thank you notes, and Christmas Cards via snail mail, I can't use the stamps up fast enough to keep up with the ever changing postage rates. In fact, last year I didn't even send my Christmas Cards through the mail. I sent a virtual Christmas card in the form of a slide show of family photos from the entire year. It was very cool, but anyone on my list who didn't have email was just SOL. Just this past spring I was supposed to pay a friend of mine a deposit for a weekend retreat together. I actually asked her if I could just pay her via PayPal, because that was much easier than finding a stamp with the proper postage. She happily accepted it.

See, I did pretty well with that title.

Have a great day!