I’m not sure I’ve ever truly been disenchanted before, but I was disenchanted this week, and boy, is it a bummer. I feel so let down by a hero of mine. There is still a lot to admire about him, but I can’t help but feel a little sad. I wish I could take Neil deGrasse Tyson aside and say, “Hey, watcha got against homeschoolers, Dude? We’re your fans!” So here is my best effort to do just that:
An open Letter to Neil deGrasse Tyson,
On Tuesday night, I drove for over an hour, stayed out until 1:00 am and paid my baby-sitter $100 (partly a bonus because we were much later getting home than I had promised). Why? Just to take my oldest son to hear you speak live-and-in-person at the University of Texas at Arlington. It was worth it, except that you weren’t very nice to the homeschoolers in the crowd. You took questions, including one from a homeschooled boy, and for some reason, rather than just answer the boy’s question, you felt compelled to follow it up with a lecture on making sure the child has enough social activities. You went so far as to warn him against the danger of becoming “socially retarded.” Huh? What does that have to do with astrophysics Dr. Tyson? And what the heck do you know about the social lives of homeschooled kids anyway? Here you are, a public figure, in a position to be very influential and persuasive, and you’re up on stage perpetuating the myth that homeschooled kids are chained to the kitchen table and grow up to be social misfits! Have you checked the science on that Dr. Tyson? I think you should before you say another word about it. We homeschoolers think you’ve got something worth saying about astrophysics, and we brought our kids to hear you say it. We are not the enemy. Homeschoolers deserve, at the very least, common courtesy, and frankly, probably your admiration. We are working fiercely to get our kids excited about science, it’s working, and that’s exactly what you want! We are on your side, Doc! We like you! It was cool how you got the mood lighting just right so we could mean it when we said “sextillion.” It was cool how we all got say “Billion” together in unspoken homage to Carl Sagan. (My young son didn’t get it, but that just made me laugh.) It was cool how, when my son yelped out loud in amazement at the sheer magnitude of one of those ultra big numbers you said, “Either someone just got sat on, or they had a visceral reaction to a number that size!” We loved your presentation. It was first class. We had fun. Well, most of the time.
When our turn came to get our DVD autographed, I took the opportunity to attempt to recommend that you learn more about the social lives of homeschooled children before you speak publicly on the topic. You interrupted defensively, saying, “Hey I wasn’t making an accusation, I just said, ‘make sure your mom takes you to parties.’” I disagree. It was an implied accusation. Because the child with the question about black holes was homeschooled, you assumed that there must be a relative void in his social education. You made a judgment about an entire class of people based on a media perpetuated stereotype. That’s so unlike you! In your own presentation, you criticized the Bayer ad for their portrayal of a girl and a black boy as the “problem kids.” Fact based understanding was a central theme to the thoughts you shared with us on Tuesday night. Do you have the facts about the social side of homeschooling?
As if your comments weren’t already enough of a turn-off. You made it worse when you were rude to the daughter of a friend of mine. She approached the table presenting a book to be autographed, you asked her why she was up so late, she replied that she is homeschooled. You hurt her feelings, and offended her mom, by saying “another homeschooler?!” with disgust. Her mom told me she stood there and watched her daughter visibly deflate. Ouch! I don’t get it, Dr. Tyson, Here’s my little friend. She’s got a book in her hand that she purchased. She wants your autograph on it. She admires you. She thinks you’re uber-cool. She’s also your bread and butter. What possible reason do you have for being rude to her? Even if you don’t think homeschooling is a good idea, there’s simply no call for being unkind and hurtful to a little girl. If you are going to maintain that homeschooling is a bad idea, please use the same logic, reason and science, that you used for the rest of your lecture, and show the same tactful respect to homeschoolers that you showed to the folks that weren’t applauding when you expressed a preference for the billboard promoting science, over the one promoting faith.
I am not going to spend the time or the bytes, here, to refute the woefully misinformed idea you have bought into. It’s a dead horse that’s been beaten enough, the information is easy to find. The short of it is: homeschooled children acquire adequate social skills.
This experience has been a little bit like having a fight with my husband. I like you and I’m suffering from cognitive dissonance due to what I witnessed on Tuesday. I want to admire you, Dr. Tyson, but right now my feelings are hurt and it’s a challenge. An apology to your homeschooling fans would be an excellent move right about now. I’m not going to take my Neil deGrasse Tyson flair off my facebook profile, but my opinion of you has been tarnished a bit.
Julie McCalpin
You can contact Dr. Tyson through the Haydan Planetarium:
They have an electronic "Contact Us" form on their website: http://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/contact
OR
Write to this address
Hayden Planetarium & Department of Astrophysics
American Museum of Natural History
Central Park West at 79th Street
New York, New York 10024
OR
Voice: +1 (212) 769-5912
Fax: +1 (212) 769-5007
