An Open Letter to Neil deGrasse Tyson on homeschooling

I’m not sure I’ve ever truly been disenchanted before, but I was disenchanted this week, and boy, is it a bummer. I feel so let down by a hero of mine. There is still a lot to admire about him, but I can’t help but feel a little sad. I wish I could take Neil deGrasse Tyson aside and say, “Hey, watcha got against homeschoolers, Dude? We’re your fans!” So here is my best effort to do just that:

An open Letter to Neil deGrasse Tyson,

On Tuesday night, I drove for over an hour, stayed out until 1:00 am and paid my baby-sitter $100 (partly a bonus because we were much later getting home than I had promised). Why? Just to take my oldest son to hear you speak live-and-in-person at the University of Texas at Arlington. It was worth it, except that you weren’t very nice to the homeschoolers in the crowd. You took questions, including one from a homeschooled boy, and for some reason, rather than just answer the boy’s question, you felt compelled to follow it up with a lecture on making sure the child has enough social activities. You went so far as to warn him against the danger of becoming “socially retarded.” Huh? What does that have to do with astrophysics Dr. Tyson? And what the heck do you know about the social lives of homeschooled kids anyway? Here you are, a public figure, in a position to be very influential and persuasive, and you’re up on stage perpetuating the myth that homeschooled kids are chained to the kitchen table and grow up to be social misfits! Have you checked the science on that Dr. Tyson? I think you should before you say another word about it. We homeschoolers think you’ve got something worth saying about astrophysics, and we brought our kids to hear you say it. We are not the enemy. Homeschoolers deserve, at the very least, common courtesy, and frankly, probably your admiration. We are working fiercely to get our kids excited about science, it’s working, and that’s exactly what you want! We are on your side, Doc! We like you! It was cool how you got the mood lighting just right so we could mean it when we said “sextillion.” It was cool how we all got say “Billion” together in unspoken homage to Carl Sagan. (My young son didn’t get it, but that just made me laugh.) It was cool how, when my son yelped out loud in amazement at the sheer magnitude of one of those ultra big numbers you said, “Either someone just got sat on, or they had a visceral reaction to a number that size!” We loved your presentation. It was first class. We had fun. Well, most of the time.

When our turn came to get our DVD autographed, I took the opportunity to attempt to recommend that you learn more about the social lives of homeschooled children before you speak publicly on the topic. You interrupted defensively, saying, “Hey I wasn’t making an accusation, I just said, ‘make sure your mom takes you to parties.’” I disagree. It was an implied accusation. Because the child with the question about black holes was homeschooled, you assumed that there must be a relative void in his social education. You made a judgment about an entire class of people based on a media perpetuated stereotype. That’s so unlike you! In your own presentation, you criticized the Bayer ad for their portrayal of a girl and a black boy as the “problem kids.” Fact based understanding was a central theme to the thoughts you shared with us on Tuesday night. Do you have the facts about the social side of homeschooling?

As if your comments weren’t already enough of a turn-off. You made it worse when you were rude to the daughter of a friend of mine. She approached the table presenting a book to be autographed, you asked her why she was up so late, she replied that she is homeschooled. You hurt her feelings, and offended her mom, by saying “another homeschooler?!” with disgust. Her mom told me she stood there and watched her daughter visibly deflate. Ouch! I don’t get it, Dr. Tyson, Here’s my little friend. She’s got a book in her hand that she purchased. She wants your autograph on it. She admires you. She thinks you’re uber-cool. She’s also your bread and butter. What possible reason do you have for being rude to her? Even if you don’t think homeschooling is a good idea, there’s simply no call for being unkind and hurtful to a little girl. If you are going to maintain that homeschooling is a bad idea, please use the same logic, reason and science, that you used for the rest of your lecture, and show the same tactful respect to homeschoolers that you showed to the folks that weren’t applauding when you expressed a preference for the billboard promoting science, over the one promoting faith.

I am not going to spend the time or the bytes, here, to refute the woefully misinformed idea you have bought into. It’s a dead horse that’s been beaten enough, the information is easy to find. The short of it is: homeschooled children acquire adequate social skills.

This experience has been a little bit like having a fight with my husband. I like you and I’m suffering from cognitive dissonance due to what I witnessed on Tuesday. I want to admire you, Dr. Tyson, but right now my feelings are hurt and it’s a challenge. An apology to your homeschooling fans would be an excellent move right about now. I’m not going to take my Neil deGrasse Tyson flair off my facebook profile, but my opinion of you has been tarnished a bit.

Julie McCalpin

You can contact Dr. Tyson through the Haydan Planetarium:
They have an electronic "Contact Us" form on their website: http://www.haydenplanetarium.org/tyson/contact

OR

Write to this address
Hayden Planetarium & Department of Astrophysics
American Museum of Natural History
Central Park West at 79th Street
New York, New York 10024

OR

Voice: +1 (212) 769-5912
Fax: +1 (212) 769-5007

Tears, Thank you notes, handwriting & postage stamps

This should be interesting. I wrote the title of this entry before I started in on the text.

I wonder if it's true that I am drawn to tears every day. I think it's actually possible. I know of at least two occasions for tears this week, and that's just right off the top of my head. The first flare up struck me as I finished reading aloud a beloved book to my kids. It was the last in a series of three, and I cried not only for the characters who had to say goodbye, but also for the loss of my own youth, and also, more simply, just the fact that the book was over. I had to pause several times just to get through the reading of it without choking up. The books were the Peter and The Star Catchers series by Dave Barry (yes, that Dave Barry) and Ridley Pearson. Amazing books.

The second thing I cried over this week occured just today. Kenneth's birthday is rapidly approaching and we were preparing the invitations. As any good homeschooler, I decided he definitely needed to have a hand in this process. So, I took the envelopes over to my desk, pushed my keyboard aside, withdrew a ruler from my desk drawer, rejected it, and chose another, (How fortunate am I to have my choice of rulers?), took up a pencil and carefully drew a neat guideline across each envelope so that my son could put the names of each of the guests on them without wobbling too badly. I was methodically attending to this task when my perplexed and befuddled husband came in to find me quietly weeping, with real tears running down my cheeks. I choked and gasped out, "I'm okay, it's okay," wanting to reassure him that I was only crying and that I had not gone off the deepend, at least not yet. I was just desperately missing my mother. I remember her doing precisely this same task for me for an occasion, almost certainly a birthday, for which she expected me to write an invitation or a perhaps a thank you note. I can even see the ruler she would have used to do it. It was yellow and said, "re-elect Judge John Mead." It is much more salient and powerful than any lesson I was ever taught in school. I always think of my mother when it is time to write anything by hand. She prided herself on her handwriting. She lived in an era when beautiful handwriting was very trendy. She told me that she and her girlfriends would actually get together and practice their handwriting. When I was in Jr. High she sent me to a handwriting tutor. I think she was holding my to an unrealistic standard, given my age. My handwriting is perfectly acceptable now, but the value of the handwriting, and of the thank you notes is as indelible as the ink.

So, are handwritten thank you notes a thing of the past? Are all those kids out there who are frantically texting each other going to grow up to send handwritten-snail-mail thank you notes to each other as adults? I'm trying to picture it. The image just fails to materialize. So, how is it that manners evolve? I don't really remember when you weren't supposed to wear white shoes after Labor Day, but it's certainly one of those references that gets dragged out as hopelessly arbitrary and archaic when the subject of manners comes up. I did grow up being told that it was absolutely off limits to attend a wedding in a white dress, but I see people do it more and more. I doubt that they are saying to themselves as they are dressing on the day of the wedding, "Oh, I know I'm not supposed to wear white to a wedding, but I just don't care!" More likely, they just haven't ever been told of the custom. So, again, I ask, will the text speak youth of today grow up to value a handwritten thank you note or invitation? I guess the jury is still out. My guess is no, and that's okay. It's every bit as okay as wearing white shoes after Labor Day, because you see, it's arbitrary and archaic.

So, speaking of my desk drawer, and sending things via snail mail…I have stamps in there representing six generations back in first-class postage rates. I used to buy stamps by the roll, but, as we send virtually nothing, except invitations, thank you notes, and Christmas Cards via snail mail, I can't use the stamps up fast enough to keep up with the ever changing postage rates. In fact, last year I didn't even send my Christmas Cards through the mail. I sent a virtual Christmas card in the form of a slide show of family photos from the entire year. It was very cool, but anyone on my list who didn't have email was just SOL. Just this past spring I was supposed to pay a friend of mine a deposit for a weekend retreat together. I actually asked her if I could just pay her via PayPal, because that was much easier than finding a stamp with the proper postage. She happily accepted it.

See, I did pretty well with that title.

Have a great day!

Six Flags is stingy with their ice!

Whew! We spent the day at Six Flags yesterday. Yes, I know what you're thinking, "It was 104°F Yesterday! Are you derranged" Well, we are now, primarily as a result of heat exhaustion. We're also under the delusion that having two free tickets to Six Flags, thanks to the Six Flags 6 hour reading club, means we will "save" money. Let's not kid ourselves, we ain't saving Jack! I was born and raised in Arlington, Texas, home of the original, the first, Six Flags over Texas. (For those of you who are not from here, you may wonder, "Why do they call it Six Flags?" Well…it's time fer a little Texas History Lesson. But that can wait until the end of the post.*) So being a native Arlingtonian, I cut my teeth on Six Flags, and there will always be a soft spot in my heart for the park. However, I need to take this opportunity to file an informal grievance with the place after our visit. Holy-Chili-Cheese-Dog, did that cost a heck of a lot of money! It was $15 just to park the car. But, really, what got me was how stingy they were with the ice! After doing some quick calculations, we determined that it would be less expensive for our family to purchase two of the freely-refillable "Souvenir" (God knows why anyone would want to keep one of these things!) cups for $15.00 each, and have them filled with water, than it would be for us to spend the day purchasing water bottles. With five of us and the water bottles costing $3.50 each, we would hit that $30.00 mark pretty fast. So that's what we did. However, after the first fill up, the folks in the little drink kiosks consistently put less and less ice in the cups. Generally, they were less than half full. I assume the employees have been instructed to do this unless asked otherwise. I assume that's because ice is expensive. I also have to assume, based on my observations yesterday, that the employees in the drink stations were instructed to work at a glacial pace, maybe they thought that was a way to make their precious ice last longer. I can not imagine working more slowly than those folks were working. But the stingyness with the ice is truly a false economy, because what happens when you fill my cup with very little ice, is that the ice melts almost immediately. So, I'm just going to dump my now melted ice into the bushes and come back (after standing in an unnecessarily interminable line) and ask you for more. So, basically, by giving me less ice, you are encouraging me to throw it away. Arrghh! At one point, after standing in a line and asking for ice water, the girl said, "Oh you don't want to get water here because it just comes from the sink, you want to go next door to the funnel cake stand." Well, guess what, I have just stood in this line, I can't say as how I'm jumping up and down to go stand in another one! I don't care if her water comes from the sink! (Where else would tap water come from?) I'm blistering hot, from standing in this line for 20 minutes waiting for her to help, at most 3, customers ahead of me, I just want my ice water, I want it now, and then I want to go stand in the shade. Please. Please can I go stand in the shade? Like I said, Whew!

Now, the nice thing is that I got to watch my kiddos' faces light up with elation when riding some of the same rides I rode when I was just their size. Like the Sombrerro, for instance, oh how I love that thing! With a fresh coat of paint, and a scrubbed clean look, it was like a time warp. We rode it several times and I got to sit with each of them in turn. Eleanor giggled gleefully and chattered on about the, "Big Yellow Hat!" I think she was reminded of the one Curious George's friend wears. Reid turned into a limp noodle and let the ride wave him about, loving that flip flopping sensation in his tummy. Kenneth just grinned, his impish little gapped tooth smile just about as wide as a long Texas mile. We didn't get home until late, they were all just completely filthy, I dunked them each in the bath, scrubbed them up, and then tucked them exhausted, but happy into their sweet little beds, and not a single one the least bit sunburned thanks to my diligence. Someday, maybe they'll take their kids there and feel the same way. Hope you all have a wonderful day, and that you are enjoying your summer!

*The reason that the park was named Six Flags is because the areas of the park all represent the Six Flags that have, at one time or another, flown over the land that is now the Great State of Texas. (Although, the last time I checked, the Gotham City flag never flew over Texas.) Those flags are, in order: Spain, France, Mexico, The Republic of Texas, The United States of America, The Confederate States of America and the United States again. You can read more about that here: The Six National Flags of Texas

My Cover Girl, and more road rage

Hiya! Important business first. Miss Eleanor is a Cover Girl! My page "Beckoned" featuring a picture of Eleanor, and gorgeous products designed by Lorie Davison, is on the cover of the August Issue of The Artisan Notebook! Linky here:



And, speaking of bumper stickers. I happened across this car in a parking lot today and just had to stop and snap a shot!



Well, thanks for stopping by! I'm sure I'll have a wordier post sometime soon!

A New Layout, a Freebie and Road Rage

Michael pointed out a news item to me just the other day. He said that studies have shown that folks who have their cars plastered with a lot of bumper stickers are more likely to dish out a little road rage on their fellow drivers. I think he was filling me in on this tidbit because I have my van plastered with magnetic mod flowers. I love it! Now you might think that sweet little flowers are pretty innocuous, but the article specifically mentioned that the content of the bumper stickers is actually irrelevant. Apparently, folks who cover their cars with personal touches are very territorial. Yup, that's me. Here's the article if you're curious: Bumper Stickers = Road Rage I think territorial describes me to a tee. In fact, it really explains a lot. So, if you see a threatening Sea foam green Toyota Sienna covered with crazy daisys bearing down on you in your rearview mirror, well…you'll know it's me. Reminds me a little of the Stephen King story, Christine.

Now I have a treat today. A new scrapbook page. I just finished this one. I'm doing a guest spot for Lorie Davison for July, and I'm tickled pink, by the way! So, I used three of her kits, the newest is a Collaboration with Edeline Marta and is called A Walk in The Meadow, and the other two are Faerily Moonlit and Water Spirit. Here's what I came up with.



I also used my great grandmother's reading spectacles in the LO. I photographed them, extracted them and then, for my little learning experience this week, I figured out how to make them transparent (without making them disappear…thank you Thena!) So, since I went to all the trouble, I thought I'd offer them as a little token of my appreciation, as a blog freebie to you. You can download them here:

NanniesSpecs.png.zip

The rest of the credits can be found in my DST Gallery

Read anything good lately? I just finished Loving Frank, by Nancy Horan. It's historical fiction about Frank Lloyd Wright and and affair he had which lured him away from his family in the prime of his career. Fantasic book, actually horrific in many ways, but a great read, I must recommend it. Well, I'm a bit all over the map today, but, after all, that's why I called this "mental detritus!" See you next time!

A Day for Cute Quotes

Okay, first business is to tell you about my mysterious trip. Kenneth and I went to Baltimore for the Davidson Young Scholars Summit. It was really enjoyable. Kenneth and I both had a great time. He got to learn chess from a grandmaster, attend a class on the solar system taught by Frank Summers…who is so awesome at teaching classes on the Solar System that he has a DVD for sale through the Teaching Company. He also got to hang out with some of his buddies from previous years, like Madison and Dominic, for instance. Way Cool!

Then we were off to Colorado for a family reunion and that was plenty of fun too. We went to an aligator farm, where yours truly held a gator for the family photo, I was the only one present who was even willing to consider it. I guess the McCalpins are more squeamish than the Reids (wink!) We also visited the Sand Dunes National Park and the creek was running so we got to play in the sand and eat a pic-nic lunch with Grandma & Grandpa. It was a wonderful visit. The highlight of the trip had to be our participation in the Great Crestone Parade and Waterfight. Uncle Jim Drove his old Army Truck and the boys in the back were armed and dangerous. I was sitting in the cab with Eleanor…I repeat…in the cab, and we were drenched. There was water dripping from the ceiling. Eleanor finally said at near the end, "Dat 'nuff water!"

So, for todays quotes. All three children were kind enough to provide me with quotes today.

First Reid: I picked him up from his first day of Lego Early Structures camp and this is the conversation we had:
Me: Did you Have fun?
Reid: Well, sort of.
Me: What did you do?
Reid: Well, all the other kids built stuff with Legos while I played in the swivel chair.
Me: You didn't want to build anything with the Legos?
Reid: Well…ya know, I know you wanted me to have fun, Mom, but I have fun all the time at home with you.

That was $90 well spent.

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Next Quote Kenneth: This is also when I asked about his Lego camp which was, "World of Droids."
Kenneth: We were talking about Wall-e in my camp today. My teacher said he didn't get a chance to see it because his wife dragged him off to do something else. I was listening to him and thinking, "Hey Mr! Don't let your wife push you around!"

Umm Hmm.

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Final Quote from Eleanor. We were eating our pic-nic lunch outside on the grass after the boys' camps and Reid, never one to sit still, had dashed off to go climb a crepe myrtle, in which he promptly got stuck and required my help to get down. We walked back to our blanket, he took off and nearly immediately climbed the tree again. Eleanor, who had wondered over there with him and was down on the ground looking up at him, put her hands on her hips, turned toward me and yelled, "MoooOOoooM! Reid's stuck in the tree again."

I guess I just have funny kids! They certainly make me laugh! Hope you are having a wonderful day.

New Favorite Song

I just hit the dentist and the doctor all in one day. Whew! It's a sad thing when going to the dentist is a treat because getting your teeth cleaned is still a little break from your children. Let's just try that again with a positive spin, shall we?… I really appreciate opportunities for a change of scenery and going to the dentist is no exception. I had a chance to watch a few minutes of Rachel Ray talking about obese pets (!) and I even got to read a couple pages of a magazine. It was a nice break. After the dentist, I got to go to the doctor, while I was there, I heard a song. It's probably not new, I'm good at getting excited about stuff that's ancient history, but I loved it and I bopped right home and got myself a copy from the itunes store. It's Brad Paisley She's Everything. I'm an eclectic kind of girl, I'll listen to anything if it has good lyrics.

Tomorrow I'm leaving on a little mini vacation with just Kenneth, it's top secret so I'll tell you more when I get back. (See, now you are curious!) Tee hee.

Speaking of Kenneth, fencing camp was interesting for him, but ultimately good. Coach is Polish and pretty hard core. I think it was good for Kenneth to have a pretty rigid environment, but it did remind me that Kenneth is not a joiner or a socialite. He definitely has some personality quirks that make group activities challenging for him. Something to work on as we wend our way on this journey together.

Reid ran right into a doorknob last week and gave himself a black eye. It looks worse now that it is healing than it did when it was fresh. Isn't that one of those ridiculous classic stories though? Poor little guy, he was not only hurt but, I'm pretty sure offended. He was very concerned about the upcoming trip. He wanted to know which days of the week he'd be staying with Daddy. I told him, "Saturday, Sunday, Monday and Tuesday," at which point he started groaning. When I asked why he said, "Oh no! Some of those are work days, which means Daddy is going to be on the phone all day!!" I assured him that Daddy had taken vacation days so he will be available to mind Reid, himself and Miss Eleanor. He was tentatively accepting, but I could tell he had his suspicions.

Speaking of Miss Eleanor, she has turned into quite the little chatter box. She knows the alphabet now, primarily thanks to Dr. Seuss ABC. Now we are working on learning to use the Track Ball on the computer, although I must confess I'm lousy about practicing with her. She talks up a storm, using ginormous sentences. Reminds me a lot of a certain redhead I know.

For Father's Day we gave Michael some software for his blackberry and 84 pictures so now he has a wallet sized slideshow. Pretty cool. He used it this week already when a new client said, "So, you gotta wife? kids?" I'm so proud!

Ah well, it's late. I should go to bed. Busy day tomorrow. See ya sooN!